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A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.
~ Proverbs 17:17 (NIV)
All of us are in need of authentic relationships. It is by Yahweh’s design…we were made that way. We are not loners; we cannot make it in this walk without relationships. There will be no one there to counteract the lies we tell ourselves. There will be no one to give us a hug when we desperately need it. There will be no one to wipe away our tears. There will be no one to bring out the best and worst in us. Proverbs 27:7 states, “As iron sharpens iron, so does one person sharpens another.” There will be no one to pray on our behalf. There will be no one to steer us back to Yahweh when our emotions are keeping us bound to fleshly comforts. We NEED a friend that we can depend on.
“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother,” states Proverbs 18:24 (NIV). Unreliable friends…these are those we don’t want. These are the so-called friend who will tell us what our tickling ear wants to hear. They will not tell us that what we have on is not cool. She might say, “Girl, that’s not really bad. You can go to the interview with that on.” Not understanding or caring that great first impressions often win the job. We don’t need friends that smile in our faces and stab us in the back at the same time. We don’t need friends who placate us, bow down to our demands or be passive with us. We don’t need half-truths, half the story, or half the heart. We don’t need people in our lives that abuse us, take us for granted, disrespect our time, and use us for what we have. We don’t need friends we can’t depend on. Proverbs 25:19 (NIV) states, “Like a broken tooth or a lame foot is reliance on the unfaithful in a time of trouble.”
A friend relationship is one that operates solely from a standpoint of love. It is a give and take relationship. It is lifting up and encouraging our friend when he/she is down and rejoicing in accomplishments. Friendships certainly require death of the flesh. A times, a friend is needed in the wee hours of the morning. Are you willing to get up to answer the call? A friend is needed to go to the hospital at a moment’s notice. Are you willing to head out without hesitation or thought? A friend maybe needed to clean up a mess. Will you do it without complaint? A friend will correct us…even when it hurts to do so; including a strong rebuke when we are straying off what we know to be true. Proverbs 27:5-6 (NIV) clearly illustrates my point, “Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”
A friend will push us to move toward our goals, dreams and desires. A friend is a spark that lights the fire up under us and pointed-toe heel to squash the fear that resides within. A friend will push us toward our best. In important friendships, trust, transparency and accountability, on both sides, must take precedence over apprehension over what the other might think. And last, humility is key within a friend relationship…where one is not afraid to apologize or give up a desire to help out.
I’m truly grateful to Yahweh for the friends He has placed in my life…long term, short time, and even those for a fleeting season. My friends have helped me through the toughest times of my life. One friend sang one of my favorite songs on the day after my father’s death while another wiped my runny nose and tears. My dearest friend has stuck with me for over thirty years, and I’m eternally grateful for her. My other best friend, my twin sister, has supported and encouraged me on every endeavor, especially grad school and allowing me to play with her children whenever I wanted to.
My church friends have loved me, supported me, spoke hard truths, taught me and encouraged me. I’ve learned a great deal from them in my spiritual journey. My work friends have helped me make it through some trying times, especially when dealing with crazy people who have no regard for anyone but themselves. There was a time in my life where I thought that I didn’t have any “real” friends that would come through for me, even after I stepped up to the plate. I falsely believed that I either wasn’t worthy or that “they” just didn’t care. Yahweh has shown me otherwise. I know I can count on my dear friends for anything, can you? Have your say?